operation harelip BJ is a go
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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