Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
