No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
