can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
