oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
