And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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