but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
