I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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