The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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