I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize