singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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