Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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