is this the sara with the beer cane?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
