How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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