I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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