the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wish there were birth control emojis
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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