so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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