i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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