Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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