My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize