But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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