He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
