there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
