My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
