Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
3 2 1 whiskey
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
