That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize