Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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