Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
