K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
