at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
