you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
