You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
