Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
