My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
