i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
