My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
