She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
