just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
