Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
