sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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