You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
