Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just cropdusted the office
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
