I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
