Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
