well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
