I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
