She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
