So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
