hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
