Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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