ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
