I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize